F.U.C. U.
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Seeking people 40 - 50's
Age may not be an issue, it just depends on what you're willing to compromise and accept.
I am not talking about a relationship per se, since I am currently in an 8 year relationship with a man 12 years my junior. We of course had to work out our generational differences, not to mention cultural and urban/non urban experiences .. and we've done a good job too.
It's just that, every now and then I long for a more mature connection in conversation that you can only get from people your age.
It takes a certain amount of patience and laid-back-ability to be able to 'hang around' people younger than you that are discovering things about themselves and about life in general that you already have gone thru many years back. Then you listen in to their conversation (only because you happen to be involved in it) and have them explain to you their philosophy, thoughts on life yaddah yaddah yaddah .. and have to be truly and genuinely excited . . yaddah yaddah yaddah.
Mind you, it's nice to know that some of them are 'aware' of how their path has taken them, and others are soooo incredibly way off. Not sure if I can take any more of this though. I really need to find people my age or even older.
Sorry guys, but honestly, "I've truly been there and done that" more times over, so much so that it's been so long that I've already had the time to reap the consequences, understand the event or situation of choice and see how it all turns out! And I'm really not that patient to sit there and get all excited with you ..
Guess this is what it's like to be an active parent. Watching your child go thru life doing and making the same choices etc .. and you knowing the outcome and wanting to save them the hassle by trying to tell them how to live.
I shocked a friend the other day when I asked him, "hey, you ever had a masturbation party or contest?" He said, "What?!"
"you know, when a bunch of your friends get together in a living room or whatever and masturbate and see who cums first. The last one that cums has to take a shot of tequila or whatever .. "
I think I shocked him.
He actually mustered up the courage to ask me if I had been in one. "Of course!" I said, "hasn't everyone?"
Apparently, masturbation parties/contests, are not a usual thing to do.
Huh?! That was the first time someone younger than me actually taught me something I did NOT know!
Oh, and I suppose that not everyone has had a threesome!
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I'm Reaching My Max.
I'm realizing more and more that I'm reaching my maximum ability for tolerating blinded stupidity.
People hooked on image, offended by words or actions, and in general, people treating others with no respect.
Or course there is a fine line when talking about respect. You can swear and act a certain way and still respect a person. If they get offended, then as I see it, it is THEIR problem. It doesn't mean you do not respect them. People should not be attached emotionally to words or actions.
I am also tired of average men wanting above average women. They have the gall to criticize other women's looks etc . .. when they themselves are not James Bond, George Clooney or Bradd Pitt types. Get real.
I am especially tired of the entire men/women game. As I am not one to play it, I see no need for it. People have become so fake and absurd in their approaches towards the opposite sex that they are turning into poor excuses for human beings.
I am also tired of the double standard.
I am a woman and I can use as much fuckin' foul language as I want and I can fuck as many people as I want and whom ever I want, whenever I want. There. I said it. Again. (refer to first post for original rant)
Men are not the only species of human that can be privy to such acts. Get fuckin' real. If men can't deal with that then as far as I'm concerned they are all pussy's!
Again, I am tired of this world and of human beings in general. They are once again making me sick to my stomach. Excuse me but I have to barf.
Note: I DO use foul language and have only been fucking one man for the past 8 years. If I was single, I would give myself the choice of fuckin' as many men as I wanted and whom ever I wanted. We should all be entitled to that!
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Life is NOT a game and Dating is?!
I am by no means a dating expert. Who the hell wants to be anyway. Surely if you were even remotely considered as being an expert in 'dating' what would that tell you about YOU?!
It behooves me as well as amuses me in a slightly sick way how people approach the act of 'getting to know someone'. It is not a game people. No matter how you want to rationalize the need to make it into a game or appoach it like a game, getting to know someone is NOT a game.
I then have to talk about the fact that people are so afraid to just be 'real'. But why?
Why are people so afraid to be 'real'?
I can write a damn essay but I'd rather not. My essay writing days are SO OVER. I can create a whole other blog just on this topic alone but I'll refrain. Instead, I'll cut thru the bullshit of it all and say this:
People are afraid to be 'real' because they are ashamed of who they really are. And the sad thing is, this shame is not even reality based for the mere fact that a lot of people do not even KNOW who they really are in the first place! Can you see the problem with this? It's a problem people! A big one!
To put it simply, people are fucked up!
So for those fucked up people out there who even believe in the necessity of dating (and you know who you are) , can you pulllease just work on getting 'unfucked' before you fuck up someone else's fucked up psyche even more.
It's because of people like you that the standards of establishing meaningful connections have perpetuated a sense of total STUPIDITY!
If the last part of this post seeems to not make any sense, it's because, in reality, this whole topic MAKES no sense.
I shouldn't have to even blog about this, but I have because there really is a need to say it. And the sad thing is, those that really need to read and hear about it are the ones that will not read this.
If so, then can you guys pass it on to the fucked up people out there - thank you.
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Reunions: What are we clinging to, really?
I thought I believed in Reunions.
Thinking they would be a great way to get in touch with those that you normally do not see as often, and to see how every one is doing.
I realize though, after some thought that reunions are useless.
No matter how sincere the greeting or probing your questions are to one another .. reunions, at the very core is just another way to compare your self to others.
Who gained weight, who looks older, who's children are more accomplished, who owns a house, who's house is bigger, etc ....
No one can ever say, that after walking away from a reunion of ANY kind, can honestly admit that their next future conversations with anyone will not be about the WHO, the WHAT, the WHY of the lives of those that you just saw.
Fuckin' hypocritical! Fuckin' plastic and a drawn out way to find someone there who's life is at least, more troublesome, or stressed, or worse than yours .. so that you can walk away feeling good about your self.
Family reunions are another thing: They are worse. (My opinion)
A chance to reconnect .. a chance to build a stronger bond with your kin folk? Do you REALLY want MORE family in your life?
More of feeling obligated to help out, when YOUR own life is not even where it needs to be?
More chances to gossip?
More opportunities to judge others?
Yeah, like I need more of that. Like WE need more of that .. NOT.
Then are is the chance that OLD bad memories OR issues arise .. and everyone gets emotional .. and defensive .. and what a mess that would be! Surely. I've seen it.
I've spent the better part of my adult life trying to FREE myself from all that .. and as I have made a space between THEM and I .. I am far better off for it. This I know.
There is NO ONE you can ever really count on but YOUR SELF and the One Force that is responsible for Creation.
It does not matter how much money someone will offer to lend you in time of financial need, or how much time they give of themselves to BE THERE for you, the bottom line IS:
Yes, we are all connected and all have a purpose .. but that doesn't mean that BLOOD is THICKER than water .. after all .. blood can coagulate and cause a STROKE! Leaving you paralyzed for the rest of your life!
Water IS LIFE. Water can be as gentle as a drop and yet it can make a mark on stone ...
What can you gain from a blood clot?!
Exactly .. nothing.
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Honesty is NOT always the Best Policy.
I've always felt that to live an honest and TRUTHFUL life was THE only way to exist. I still believe in that.
Recently and after some thought I suddenly came up with an exception, being, to withhold the truth for the sake of not hurting someone else - in other words, maintaining their sanity.
Case in question: (and NO, this does not apply to me)
When someone has gone out of their way to cheat on a partner and is having strong feelings of guilt, I believe that the only reason why they would want to tell the other person is to relieve themselves of their guilt.
There is a saying, "What I don't know won't hurt me."
Often, ignorance of a matter is indeed bliss.
If it is a guilty conscience that one is suffering from then I suggest they seek therapy for it and not IMPOSE self induced therapy by FINALLY trying to be on the up and up with their partner. I mean, they weren't performing an honest act when they did the cheating .. so why try to be honest NOW?
People have to STOP and think before wanting to confess acts of disgrace. They need to realize that a tremendous amount of responsibility comes with telling the TRUTH. If one chooses to unburden their guilt by burdening a potential lifetime of 'second guessing - why wasn't I good enough" to their partner, then I believe that this act is pure SELFISH.
If one cannot live with the guilt, then one needs to seek therapy and/or find a way to break it off. Obviously, there is an issue with Trust.
If therapy does not work then a break up would be on the list of things to do. After all, the act of cheating, for whatever reason is a tell tale sign of 'a relationship gone awry' OR 'an individual's lack of judgement' in which case one needs to chuck it off as that and not agonize a person for life by deciding to NOW turn into a honest person.
I realize that there are many reasons for why people 'cheat'. All I am saying is that sometimes you can really ruin a person's psyche and sense of SELF by telling them of your escapade. Perhaps it would be better to spare that person the tremendous hurt and agony from knowing that the person they loved and trusted had performed such an indecent act, as opposed to knowing the truth.
This is my opinion only. I decided to post this entry after watching an episode of Sex in the City where Carrie cheated on Aidan with Mr. Big.
Perhaps, I need to stop watching Sex in the City.  )
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I could be so vulgar
I was listening to a PODcast on the word "Fuck". My favourite word. Really it is. It is one of the most versatile words in the English language. I absolutely love it.
Some say it is vulgar.
I say it is just a word made up of four letters. How can one be offended by a mere 4 letters placed specifically together in a certain pattern.
R A P E is a vulgar act. It is also a four letter word.
Ah .. okay, I get it now.
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i lid, Sir cherry
As usual I'm up at 4'ish in the morning. I caught some AZN TV (Asian Television Network) and saw a program on orientals getting eyelid surgery.
EYE lid surgery??!!! What the fuck?
Apparently these people feel that having a double eyelid will make them more attractive or will help assimilate them into a more Western look.
Ummm, excuse me, but if you were born to 'oriental' parents, chances are you will LOOK oriental. I don't think that the number of eyelids one has will make a drastic change in one's appearance (unless you have more than 2 eyelids per eye - SHEESH!)
Gimme a break! I'd rather use the money on getting breast implants - "DD" please!
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